Friday Fictioneers 100 Word Flash Fiction–Afghanistan

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Every Friday, writers from around the world gather at Rochelle Wisoff-Fields blog to share their 100 word flash fiction stories based on a photo prompt. Here is my humble submission:

“That’s nice, you like dolphins?” Regina asked as she deftly finished wrapping Charlie’s wound.

“It was my Mom’s,” he sighed. “She bought that a couple years ago on a trip to Pensacola. That was before the cancer. She’s gone now.”

Regina stood, stuffing bandage wrappers into a large Ziploc bag.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“I can still feel them,” he said. “My legs I mean. It feels like a friggin bus is parked on top of them.”

“That’s just phantom pain Charlie, it’ll fade with time.”

He closed his eyes, forcing back tears.

“It’s ok Regina. You can go now.”

 

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32 Comments

Filed under Short Stories

32 responses to “Friday Fictioneers 100 Word Flash Fiction–Afghanistan

  1. Such a touching, sad story. The demons that come home with vets, that are real… blended with past memories that were once joyful. Well done!

    • Thanks, I liked your two entries as well. Hey, I knew I recognized your blog name, you’re a Carnie!

      • I am indeed. A long time follower of Le Clown. Never a dull moment. I blog regularly, but started FF in September and have been hooked since. It’s one of my 3 posts a week. Thanks for taking the time to read my posts… I generally only write one, but last week had a nice story, and then a VERY dark one that just had to be written as well. This week, there it was again… 2 stories. I’ll have to reign that in. πŸ˜‰ Again, very poignant story, you wrote. I was very touched.

      • Dawn:
        Pacific Northwest right? I LOVE it out there, went to school at University of Oregon and wound up staying for seven years. Thanks again for your kind words. I’ve only been blogging for a few weeks and this is my first FF. It’s a great exercise for me because I have trouble keeping my short stories from becoming novels. I hope you feel better soon, take care. Regards,
        Bill

      • Yes, WA state and I love here… will never leave. Welcome to blogging, and I’ll check out your site. I, too, am not known for my brevity. I love the challenge of using only 100 words to craft a story… I get almost a sick excitement when I go under 100! πŸ˜‰ Thanks for the well wishes… I hope to be better soon, too. My patience has run very thin at this point. :-p Dawn

      • In the stix of Maine. I was born in Boston and grew up on Cape Cod. We just moved up here less than a year ago. Sometimes the mountains remind me of the west coast, only everything’s a little bit smaller out here.

      • I grew up in Scituate, MA!! Small world. Most of my cousins are still in Marston’s Mill, Hyannis and Osterville… others are further down. It’s still home… I go whenever I can. Maine is beautiful… have always loved it, but never really imagined living there. Yes, things are rather grand out here! πŸ˜€

      • Damn, did I just reply twice? This laptop sucks, I keep hitting reply by accident.
        Yeah Scituate is very nice, you must love the ocean. It’s hard leaving it when you grow up with it.

      • I do love the ocean… but now I look out at Puget Sound and the San Juan islands every day, and have no regrets. When I go home, it feels wonderful, but I’m always happy to be back here.

  2. Carries huge amount of emotions… Well done!

  3. Well written – dialogue works well for FF doesn’t it?

  4. Terrible thing, losing one’s legs. Great emotional exchange at the end.

  5. Charlie’s story touched my heart. Thanks for writing about a very important subject, the care of our veterans.

  6. Welcome to FF, William. I really enjoyed how the story unfolded gradually. It’s hard to do in 100 words. Well done.

  7. Gede Prama

    visit, read the article and thanks for posting your article is quite good and we hope that all our friends all success and thank you all, greetings. (This is a good thing) πŸ™‚

  8. A dark tale that ended up even darker than it started. Skilful dialogue that moves the plot on and characterises. The two have been brought together for something however and as it’s Holiday Season, I’m prognosticating a happy ending! πŸ™‚

  9. Dear William,

    Welcome to Friday Fictioneers. It’s a lot like The Hotel California, you may check out any time you like, but you can never leave. πŸ˜‰

    As for your story, you’ve packed a lot into it and your title is perfect. One word tells the rest of the story.

    I look forward to reading more from you.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    • Thank you Rochelle! Friday Fictioneers is a great idea, I’m glad to have stumbled across your blog and this particular community of writers. My wife thought that I didn’t need the title, that people would assume Charlie was a vet, but I thought I would need to add something just to make sure. Unfortunately I had run out of words! So the title was born that way. Thanks again, I look forward to participating again next time.Regards,
      William

      • I definitely agree with you, William. Another of our Friday Fictioneers swears that a good title adds another 100 words to your story. I think he’s right. I wouldn’t have assumed Charlie was a vet without the title. He could’ve lost his legs in a car accident.

  10. Without his legs AND without his mom. Gut wrenching!

  11. I LOVE to write 100 word fiction. This one is nicely done with dialog and everything. You’re a champ.

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